I adore you!

So, loneliness is a matter of perception, right? I imagine it is. I am pretty sure there is some study out there that proves what I just said. So, I was thinking about how I have always been the person who would choose very carefully the people I surrounded myself with and was never someone who encouraged or fostered superficial relationships.  I think it reflects in my friends list on Facebook. I am very much a person of QUALITY and not QUANTITY.  So much so, that I believe that deep friendships are just as important as having a spouse. So, it made me wonder how lonely these people are who have hundreds of friends on Facebook.

Stop and think about it for a minute. If you truly have 850 friends, that would mean that if you were to speak to every single one of them at least once a month (what I would consider very superficial) you would have to see and  maintain a relationship with a minimum of 2 people on your list every single day of your life. You wouldn't be able to repeat the visit, because there just isn't enough time to see all of those people and have quality time with them. Okay, so I know the thinking is a bit radical, but I really think that the people with the most friends are actually the loneliest. If you have to maintain a superficial relationship with a lot of people, it must be exhausting and lonely.

What logic did I use to draw my conclusion? I didn't!!!  I just think I am right. Ha ha ha!
Actually it was all because of a thought I had about Brazil. One of the most difficult things for me has been how superficial friends are here. I don't really know how to deal with it most of the time. I feel a bit like a fish out of water when it comes to making friends here. I have always been someone who makes a strong connection with my friends and remain that way for very long spaces of time. I grew up in a place where you clearly knew if a person liked you or not. The opposite happened in Brazil, I got so overwhelmed by superficial connections when I moved here, that I just stopped trying to make real friends. I ended up isolating myself and stuck to the few friends I did have.

Brazilians are masters at superficial. Well, they take second place to southern women from the USA. (please no hate mail from either side!)
My first month living here in Brazil, I had maybe 11 people tell me how much they "adored" me. So, you tell me, at what point in ONE MONTH, I could have possibly been worthy of the adoration of 11 people? I swear to you, I didn't rescue any puppies or jump into any fires during that month.  To me, adoration is something deep, that you feel for people you truly like. I have only used the word adore or something similar to that with friends on very rare occasions. After I finally realized that most people here put on a production with EVERYONE, I began to understand how superficial things were. I still get confused by it, and really have no clue when someone actually does truly like me. The fact that everyone here is very physical and touchy just confuses me even more and makes me feel a bit like "Max" from "Mary and Max".  Like I need to wear a booklet around my neck to interpret what is REALLY going on.

I used to be able to make clear definitions in my mind between a potential good friend and a superficial one. Growing up in the USA you don't have to worry so much about the physical cues being confusing. I mean if a guy held your hand he liked you, if you LET him hold it, then you liked him. If your friend gave you a hug he/she liked you. If he/she hugged you harder you felt the energy and knew the cue of friendship. So, what happens when everyone hugs, everyone kisses, everyone holds hands??? CONFUSION! I can't tell you what a mess it has made of my mind and when I will figure it out. I can't rely anymore on who hugs tighter or who holds on longer. So what do I do? Any ideas?  ha ha ha!

I can only assume that by telling everyone you adore them and by being physical with everyone, it could eventually lead to a sense of satisfaction. I guess one could develop a sense of security by thinking that everyone likes you and that you like everyone. FOR ME... it has done the opposite and now I don't think anyone is sincere.  Maybe because I wasn't born here or raised that way, I can't quite grasp how it all works. It has caused me to be skeptical and totally blind when a true friend really does show up. So, I am open to any ideas or input... would I really know the difference when a real one does show up?  I need a bigger instruction manual here. Ha ha ha! I just have to laugh! Because if you can't rely on social cues then...  I have NO IDEA how these people do it!!!
PS. I ADORE YOU! ;)